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    August 12

    为寻花而来

          最近全民奥运,大家都热衷到不行。于是乎从不看体育的老娘也跟着看了些。可我始终觉得比赛这种东西太多残酷,之前无论怎样努力,只因为一次的失败就被贴上“loser”的标签,很不公平,也很残忍。我讨厌“以成败论英雄”。人生,难道不是过程更重要么?然后有人就告诉我说什么本来就是劣者淘汰的自然规律,不行又能怎样。我懂这些,也怀疑就是因为自己太在乎结果,所以讨厌到甚至害怕输掉。只是还是希望世人多些宽容。       
          上周末值班的时候终于把“蝴蝶效应”给看完了,本来以为应该是很感动的片子,但好像没有我想象中那么好看。之前因为太期待了,所以也很失望。加上中间不断被打断,于是更没有情绪。好在一起看的同事说之前虽然看过了,但没看懂,这次好歹算看明白了。这让我大大欣慰,告诉他正是因为跟聪明人一起看,所以才明白的。我现在觉得老男人确实有些好处,最起码在不跟你计较以及照顾你方面,都是要好很多的。可惜老男人都吸烟啊,甚至美其名曰“促进交流”。人无完人啊。
          上班一年多,拜奥运所赐终于感觉到机关的明争暗斗,有时候让你觉得好笑,可是有时候却狠下来觉得:为什么老是我在放弃。冤冤相报何时了啊。因为办公室的特殊,所以身份很是尴尬,好多时候幸亏因为自己不是惹事的人,否则早死的不明不白。领导大人的出差,终于让我跟我办公室的难兄成了姥姥不疼舅舅不爱的人,我感慨万千,老练的他轻蔑的笑说:知道咱们的地位了吧?于是我心里矛盾:是领导大人赶紧回来保护我们好呢还是让我们虽然没人疼却继续放养下去好呢?
          上班后还有一个体会,就是俩字:官僚啊 。这里的门卫比你拽,说不让你进就不让你进,下再大的雨你没带伞都不会让你打的车开进去;这里的收垃圾的大妈比你拽,让她们帮忙去家门口收些要卖的废品,她们可以以下班为理由不理你;这里行财、特费的大妈也比你拽,说不给报怎么都是理由,即使你有领导签字都不可以。。。真是得活的提心吊胆。。稍不合适得罪哪位,寸步难行且众人皆知。什么时候,能扬眉吐气呢?

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